5 Ways to Become a Lighthouse Parent
Child psychologist (and fellow Expert Online Training guru) Caren Baruch Feldman wrote a recent piece describing the challenges of mindful parenting, specifically about how to sufficiently guide children yet give them enough leeway to foster their independence. “Lighthouse parenting” allows children to ride the waves, while providing sufficient guidance so they don’t crash into the rocks. Being a lighthouse parent differs from “helicopter parents” who are constantly hovering anxiously overhead (or snowplow parents who would remove the rocks from the ocean).
Bullets below, with the whole piece available at this link.
- Reframe in a positive manner parental experiences of anxiety when you are safely letting your child experience a challenge.
- It can feel scary to let go, but we need to remember the very big picture (the 50-year plan we have for our children).
- Pick your battles, i.e. she will still nag and hover about the bite plate but will try to step back about what socks her son has chosen to wear.
- By consistently making an effort to hover less, it will be easier to parent more effectively.
- If parents do the hard work and embrace short-term discomfort now, later on it will be easier.
For more on learning about becoming a lighthouse parent, Dr. Feldman recommends, Dr. Kenneth Ginsburg’s book, Raising Kids to Thrive: Balancing Love with Expectations and Protection with Trust: The Lighthouse Parenting Strategy.
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