How to Help Your Child Stay Motivated

We all want our kids to be motivated, right? But how do you turn a kid who’d rather binge-watch TikTok into a motivated mini-adult? According to Eric Barker, author of Ladrando al árbol equivocado, it’s less about yelling and more about smart goal-setting. After he pulled together insights from experts on how to get motivated, we’ve taken his findings and tailored them for intentional parents like you. Let’s explore a few strategies to help our children.

Make It Fun First

Kids thrive on enjoyment. If something feels like a chore, they’ll resist it. Making an activity fun first can help build motivation. Instead of forcing piano practice, encourage them to play their favorite songs. Want them to read more? Let them choose books they love. When enjoyment comes first, discipline follows naturally.

Who Do They Want to Be?

Intrinsic motivation will help them do something because they want to–which is way more powerful than because they have to. So, instead of forcing your child into activities, help them discover their passions. Think about who your child wants to be. A musician? An athlete? A writer? Then, tie the daily behaviors to that identity. “Is this what a musician/athlete/writer would do?” It’s a powerful way to connect short-term actions to long-term goals. 

A great thing you can do as an intentional parent is to provide opportunities for exploration and self-discovery. That’s one of the things we value at Campamento Kupugani–providing kids with an open and inviting environment to explore and develop new skills while making memories.

Set Clear Goals (And Make Them Their Own)

People, including kids, stay motivated when they have clear, meaningful goals. Instead of saying, “Get an A in math,” help your child set a goal that matters to them—like understanding fractions well enough to bake cookies without help. Ownership increases commitment.

Abstract goals can surprisingly sometimes be more motivating. “Practice piano for an hour” might feel like a drain. But “become an awesome musician” feels like an adventure. Goals need to be concrete enough that your child knows what to do, but not so concrete that it feels like a boring checklist.

That said, setting a target helps! Saying “I want to read more” is nice, but setting a goal of reading 20 pages a day is more motivating. An exact number lets you track progress and adjust. So if your child wants to improve their basketball skills, set specific practice targets.

Ditch the Chores Mindset

Framing goals as “ends” instead of “means” is super important. No one wants to fill out job applications (the means), but they want a new job (the end). The same goes for kids. “Clean your room” is a chore. “Create a super cool, organized space where you can relax and have fun” is an end. Help your kids define the benefits of their goals, not just the annoying steps to get there. Goals should be something to do, not something to avoid. “Eat healthy” is more motivating than “stop eating junk.” It’s the same goal, but a totally different mindset.

Teach Them to Reframe Challenges

Failures and setbacks are inevitable. But motivated kids don’t see obstacles as stop signs. Help them reframe challenges by asking, “What can we learn from this?” This approach strengthens resilience and a growth mindset.

Self-motivation grows in an environment of support. Praise effort, not just results. Instead of saying, “You’re so smart,” try, “I love how hard you worked on that problem.” Effort-based praise helps kids push through challenges.

Surround Them with Positive Influences

We become like the people we spend the most time with. That’s why environments like summer camp can be so powerful. At Camp Kupugani, kids are surrounded by peers and mentors who encourage growth, independence, and problem-solving. These experiences help them develop motivation that lasts a lifetime.

Model Motivation Yourself

Kids are always watching. If they see you tackling challenges with a positive attitude, setting goals, and staying persistent, they’ll learn to do the same. Your actions speak louder than words.

Don’t Let the Middle Drag

It’s that long slog in the middle of a project where motivation often dies. Barker suggests shortening the middle by breaking down larger goals into smaller, more manageable weekly or monthly targets. It keeps the end in sight, making the journey less daunting. 

Barker highlights the power of the “five-minute rule.” If your child is struggling to start a task, ask them to do it for just five minutes. Often, they’ll keep going once they begin. Small wins create momentum. The key is getting started, not perfection.

Give Advice!

Help your child gain motivation by encouraging them to give advice to others. Sharing experiences can help them reflect on what they’ve learned, reinforcing their own motivation.

Small Steps Lead to Big Growth

Motivation isn’t about pushing harder—it’s about creating an environment where kids want to succeed. Whether through fun, goal-setting, encouragement, or positive role models, every step you take helps build lifelong motivation. By understanding these motivational principles, you can help your child unlock their potential and become the awesome person they’re meant to be. How will you help your child stay motivated today?