How to Raise a Hero
As my eight year-old son returns to school for the beginning of the school year, it reminds me of the importance of providing an environment where he is challenged to be the best person he can be. An old article from sociologist Christine Carter has some good tips on how to maximize your child’s ability to take action rather than be an unresponsive bystander when witnessing wrong. Our communities can always use more heroes! Highlights below!
Here’s how we can make it more likely we raise heroes than bystanders:
- Foster their Heroic Imaginations. We need to get kids to consider how it is that heroes see the world. For starters, heroes have a strong awareness of things that aren’t right. They pick up on the cues that suggest someone might be in trouble—or headed that way. With those skills, kids can learn to avert danger before it occurs. For example, an emotionally intelligent child might predict when a vulnerable classmate is likely to be bullied and prevent the incident from happening, rather than trying to intercede when it does.
- Teach kids they have the power to resolve a conflict. Conflict is not a bad thing unless we don’t have the skills we need to resolve it. In order to act heroically, kids need to have enough confidence in their interpersonal skills that they can stand up for what they believe in. Teaching positive conflict resolution, grit and the growth mindset can really help with this.
- Model care and empathy towards others. Feelings of responsibility for others had often been instilled in rescuers from the time they were children, and their parents tended to display more tolerance, care, and empathy toward both their children and towards people different than themselves.
- Express the expectation that kids will act heroically. Research shows that kids report they are more likely to intervene when a schoolmate is being bullied if they believe that their parents and friends expect them to act to support victims