Navigating the Pre-Teen Years
Here’s a good post from blogger Jodi Durr (Meaningful Mama) with some tips on navigating those sometimes treacherous pre-teen years. At our girls-only summer camp, we get lots of practice; below are some of the article’s highlights that can work well for you at home.
- Recognize it is Normal – Each child is an individual and should be treated as such, but the change in hormones and how their brains are developing is fairly consistent with other people their age.
- A Commitment to Love and Show Grace – Make it clear to your child that your loves doesn’t waiver despite their behavior. It doesn’t mean calling for a lower standard, but it does call you to love when your child is most unlovable.
- Empathy – Try and remember your pre-teen and teenage years and relate to all they are experiencing. Be willing to cry with your child
- Don’t Allow Disrespect or Disobedience – Just because they are navigating a myriad of emotions and trials doesn’t mean they receive a “Get out of jail free” card for their behavior. The same guidelines you were trying to establish as they were young still apply today. There will be consequences for actions.
- Affecting the Family = Alone Time –Your pre-teen needs some time to sort things out if they are causing turmoil in your home. It’s not going to be effective if you send them to a room with their computer, a t.v. and all their other devices to keep them occupied. Find healthy ways for them to escape. They can rest, read, paint, do homework, or just think. Make it clear that you love them and would love to be with them but that they are not in control of the climate of your home.
- Try Not to Freak Out – Part of keeping lines of communication open with your kids is having a calm response to what they are saying. You need to keep your cool to be able to handle it effectively while establishing trust so they will want to return to your counsel.
- Take them On One on One Dates – Take the time to listen and tell your child, in word and action, that you really care about who they are as people.