How to Overcome Self Deception
After reading The Anatomy of Peace, we choose a few aspects of this thought-provoking work to apply to our values here at camp. The book elucidates four kinds of “self-deception boxes” we can get into – the four ways that we can see others as objects rather than seeing them as people. The boxes are:
- “Better-than” box – you see yourself as better than other people. They’re not as human as you because you simply are better.
- “I-deserve” box – The key word is entitlement. You don’t see others as people because you’re not getting what you believe you’re entitled to.
- “Must-be-seen-as” box – In this box, you are focused on your appearance – and because of that, you can’t see folks as people. You’re too focused on how you appear to be.
- “Worse-than” box – In this box, you believe that you’re not worthy and therefore can’t relate to others as a caring person.
Being able to understand these boxes is a great first step toward self-awareness. Subsequently, developing and striving to get out of the box can be hugely satisfying.
What box do you consider yourself to be in? What makes you come to that conclusion? Are there specific instances in your life when you have thought of yourself as: better than someone, entitled to something, tried to appear to others differently, or thought you are worse than others?
We directly address the “Better-than” and “I-deserve” boxes at camp with our fluid diversity curriculum of addressing stereotypes, prejudice, and discrimination (whether intentional or not). The “Must-be-seen-as” and “Worse-than” boxes are addressed throughout our empowerment program and body image and health modules.
Some of our past camper quotes indicate our emphasis on cultivating a culture of being willing to change. While reading some of the following quotes, you may be able to see which box that the camper was in at the time of writing:
- “I love camp Kupugani because it teaches people that it is ok to be yourself and because of all the fun camptivities.”
- “(Camp) allows me to find out more about myself, make new friends, and to be me without influence from outside forces.”
- “I love Camp Kupugani because it teaches me to not hate myself.”
- “I love Camp Kupugani because of the many different and wonderful people of many cultures and I can meet them and make new friends.”
- “The most important thing I learned at camp was not to be sexist or discriminating.”
Our campers benefit from the anatomy of peace that we cultivate here at Camp Kupugani–giving them the tools to better themselves and to escape these self-deception boxes.
In the next blog spurred by our reading Anatomy of Peace, we discuss possible ways to get out of your box as we strive to not just find peace, but to create it.