4 Parenting Styles and Their Consequences for Kids
At our Midwest summer camp near Madison, Wisconsin and Chicago, Illinois, we recognize the importance of how our adult interactions impact the youth whom we serve. We strive to foster an environment where children are empowered to be their best selves. A recent article shared some good insights regarding the impacts of various parenting styles. Check out our summary below.
There are four main parenting styles:
- Authoritarian
- Permissive
- Uninvolved
- Authoritative
Each style has different characteristics, with different effects on children.
Authoritarian Style
- The parent is in control and has all authority.
- Expectations are high with limited flexibility; kids should follow the rules without exception.
- The child should obey; little negotiation is possible.
- It’s unnecessary to consider the child’s feelings.
- Stern discipline and harsh punishment are common; kids should feel sorry for their mistakes.
Authoritarian parents (who tend to be less nurturing) might say:
- “Because I said so!”
- “Don’t backtalk me!”
- “It’s my way or the highway!”
Children of authoritarian parents tend to:
- Have unhappy dispositions and be more prone to mental health issues.
- Be less independent and have worse coping mechanisms.
- Have poorer social skills and possess low self-esteem.
- Perform worse academically.
- Be more likely to engage in substance use and other problem behaviors.
Permissive Style
- The parent is more like a friend than a parent.
- Rules are set but rarely enforced; consequences don’t exist very often.
- The theory is that children learn best with little parental interference.
- Communication is open and children are encouraged to talk with parents about their problems, though limited guidance is offered.
Permissive parents (who tend to be warm and nurturing) might say:
- “Whatever you want”
- “Kids will be kids”
- “I don’t want my kid to be disappointed”
Children of permissive parents tend to:
- Not be able to follow rules.
- Have the worst self-control.
- Be at high-risk for engaging in delinquent and other problem behaviors.
- Possess egocentric tendencies.
- Encounter more problems in relationships and social interactions.
Uninvolved Style
- There is no particular discipline style.
- There are no high standards nor firm boundaries for behavior.
- One should let the child do what they want and stay out of their way.
- Communication is limited; there is little knowledge of what the child is doing or who they are with.
Uninvolved parents (who offer little nurturing) might say:
- “I really don’t care.”
- “Children can raise themselves.”
- “I have my own problems to deal with (like work, paying bills, managing a household or dealing with my own mental or physical health issues).”
Children of uninvolved parents tend to:
- Be more impulsive.
- Struggle to self-regulate emotion.
- Encounter more delinquency and addiction problems.
- Have more mental health issues, such as suicidal behavior.
Authoritative Style
- Put a lot of effort into creating and maintaining a positive relationship with your child; validate your child’s feelings while clarifying that the parent is ultimately in charge.
- Provide the child with autonomy and encourage independence while also having high expectations and clearly stated rules.
- Explain the reasons behind rules and expectations.
- Enforce rules and give consequences, while considering the child’s feelings.
- Enforce boundaries and discipline by having open discussion, providing guidance and using reasoning.
Authoritative parents (who tend to be warm and nurturing) might say:
- “Let’s discuss this.”
- “What was your “high, low, high” of the day?”
- “What kind thing did you do for someone today?”
- “How did you challenge yourself today?”
Children of authoritative parents tend to:
- Be more independent and develop good self-esteem.
- Achieve higher academic success.
- Have better mental health—less depression, anxiety, suicide attempts, delinquency and alcohol and drug use.
- Exhibit less violent tendencies.
- Interact with peers using competent social skills.
Source article: KNS Learning Solutions